But after every try to steal him away, she was told that she will never get him again. It was her who left him alone for something. He cried. Yes he is a guy but he cried. Guys don’t cry but some emotional fools do. He cried and waited for her for two years. He thought about ending his life many times but he just could not. He had a family to look after.

She never had a family, she was all alone. The only thing she had was Him. But this city made him so blind that she could not see him beside her. She was surrounded by new people.

Now, as the times passed. And she has waked up from this three year old dream. She has no one beside her. Not even the guy who loved her the most. She now realizes his importance. But it’s too late she decides to end her life and writes a letter.

A suicide letter

She writes to him. Accepting what she has done and how guilty she feels. It says.

"Hi

By the time you are reading this letter I’d be gone, Gone to the God. I had no reason to live this life so i thought to end it. But before I let the knife cut my veins; I want to tell you something. I love you, i know that it doesn’t matter to you anymore but i really love you. I am sorry for hurting you so much giving you the pain you never deserved. You were always good to me. I was bad. You cared for me but i used to get irritated by you treating me like a kid. For these years living in an unreal world I really miss the song you used to sing to me every night. Remembering that put tears to my eyes. I am sorry for not taking your calls and making every possible excuse not to see you. I was trying to ignore you so that you can observe that I need to end this. I wanted you to know that i am ignoring you i had no courage to look into your eyes and say i don’t need you anymore, I did not want to be bad, I was just so stupid……to be continued.

I met this girl last year. She is nice, innocent and stupid. Well, most of girls are like that, but she is little different, I mean I am force to say that she is different from others because no girl would like to be the same as others. So, let’s call her different from other girls. Technically, I know her since ages. But I have known her since last year. Now I can write a book about her. Well a booklet if not a book or a report or maybe a pamphlet describing things about her.

Being an introvert and being a completely opposite to her, not only biologically but emotionally as well, we still get along very well and I fell completely comfortable with her. Yes there are few ups and downs in a relationship but at the end of day what matters is who you want to actually be with.

We live this life not to make money but to be happy, money is just a currency which let us buy things which make us happy, but not everything can be bought. So this question arises. Who you want to actually be with, if you know the answer then it becomes really easy to stay happy. My answer to this question is this girl. Just the thought of her being there in my life makes me happy.

Maybe her answer to this question was not me, maybe that’s why all this happened. She is not going to be there where I wanted her to be, all my dreams, my present and my future, I am calling it mine because she withdrew herself from all this. Maybe she finds happiness in something else or someone else, let it be something because the word someone would make hurt me even more.

It’s okay, I don’t blame her I know she is stupid. But why is she so stupid that she couldn’t read between the lines. Why didn’t she see the love and the affection in my eyes? We promised each other to have so much fun together forever, climb on the mountains, and watch the sun set. The list is endless, but what’s the point of writing all this, it is gone forever and is never going to come back, I try to be happy and want you to be happy forever. I write this because it’s better to write with my eyes open than to think about it with my eyes closed. Because when I close my eyes, it feels so real and then it makes me sad. I am sometimes so much afraid of closing my eyes as they will take me back in time when things were great. This will keep me locked in a cycle of being sad and unproductiveness which happened since you’ve been gone.

Do I need to tell you that I miss those days? Or I miss you or will miss you? No I don’t think so because it has become a part of me, I do it just like I eat sleep or dream. I don’t know how long it is going to happen but I am trying my every best to live with it, I don’t want to forget it but try to tackle the sadness which is a side effect of remembering the happiest days of my life. And this is why I write this, because it is easy to writing this with my eyes open than think about it with my eyes closed………..

this can go forever.

but, it seems even she isn’t ready ready to guide me.

PS: People with Zero Sense of Humor, this is a Joke and I am not that Desperate.

She: when?

He: This Sunday! Come on, you forgot?

She: Well, Sorry I forgot to tell you, my team is meeting for lunch this Sunday. Sorry can’t come, we’ll me next Sunday please.

He: hey, that’s not fair, let meet Saturday. You get two offs in a week na?

She: yes, but we have got Back to back shift, I will come home to change, take some rest then will leave for office again.

He: back to back? Why you like to hangout in office so much that you are going to office even on week offs?

She: Honey! It’s for our team, we are running behind our target, need to cover up few extra hours or we won’t get our incentives. Please understand. I promise next Sunday.

He: Ok, (what else I can say)

Next week. I am calling her again on Saturday morning to remind her for our date!

He: What takes you so long to answer?

She: Arey, I was sleeping just came from office. Back to back shift again.

Me: Now what? Are you guys still behind?

She: Nah! Bonanza going on, we are getting Rs100 Shoppers Stop Shopping vouchers for every extra hour.

Me: Haha, Rs 100 Shoppers Stop vouchers per hours! You will have to work 10 hours for a 100ml perfume bottle.

She: so what! I’ll do extra hours tomorrow also. 8 hours today and 8 hours tomorrow. Do the maths now.

He: Tomorrow? You mean Sunday? Hey that not fair, we were suppose to meet tomorrow, I mean on Sunday.

She: please understand.

He: Ok, meet me for an hour and I’ll gift it to you. Fine?

She: Ok fine! What time we are meeting?

This works everywhere. In every caste, creed, region. My guarantee.

Happy Valentines Day

But my life is just a lonely journey since my break up (Some Other Story, maybe some other day)

I am happy with my boring life, I have got my friends, I have got everything I need. But still.

Being a Guy I look am always attracted to girls

But Still, I am happy in my own world. And leave in on Kismat Kennection . Maybe someday I’ll find that someone special.

But just yeaterday I got an email something like this

What, do you say?

Should I reply to this email?

Ah leave it, I already did that and I got its reply too. But let me tell you what I wrote.

Hi Julian,

I Appreciate That You Care. I got your Email and Replying you Straight Away.

I will be waiting for your response.

This was the 1st time I was getting an email like this and that for a friendship. God!! I would have Wished for MacBook Pro. Anyway lets get back on the topic.

Few hours later I got her reply……

And yes she sent me her photos too……

Well, what can you can, these Internet relationships, it happens!!!! I was expecting something like this.

But Being a Nice Guy, I still Replied.

To this my reply was something like this…

Dear Julian,

Thanks for replying and telling about you.

This was the 1st email of this kind I ever got.

though I always wanted a friend to share my things, i never got one.

I do blogging and I blog about everything which happens in my life.

I am a business student and 23 years of age. I live alone in New Delhi, India.

My Parents live in some other State of India, I visit them once a Week.

nothing exciting is going around these days. I get bored all the day and I spend my time writing on few blogs. that’s it.

Tell me about you, what you want to do with your life and what is your routine nowadays.

Will wait for your reply.

BTW, you can call me Shaz

Chill, that just she is just a pen friend nothing else!

But everything turned the other way when I got her next email, which was…

When I was reading this email, my brain was working like as if I was James Bond, If it would have worked like this in my Exams, I would have got Better Marks and could proudly show my Grade to everyone, but…..(Some other Story, maybe Some Other day). Anyways, I decided to go ahead and did some Research on it.

And when I search about the country code +221 I got a result from Yahoo Answers like this..

Ha Ha Ha, Shows like I am not the Only Sweetheart of Julian(Miss).

So these things to have happened to many people. And now my James Bond Brain has Figured Out everything.

Look at this

In her 1st email, she tells me, where did she find my email. And then asks me to email on her yahoo id. This email was send from julian01blah@gmail.com.

So, the whole idea, is to send as many email to people from all over the world and ask them to email on a particular id.

And all the Fools, like me, will fall for this and email on her yahoo id, where she comes to know this who wants to be her sweetheart.

Case Solved, File Closed!!!

If you ever get any email from Julian, tell her that I miss her. Mark it spam, this is same as people who offer you to make you a millionaire just by sitting on lawn chair. ]]> http://asifahmed.net/my-james-bond-brain/feed/ 7 http://asifahmed.net/i-feel-lonely/ http://asifahmed.net/i-feel-lonely/#comments Thu, 26 Jun 2008 10:03:18 +0000 Asif http://aasifahmed.com/2008/06/26/i-feel-lonely/ Lets talk people who like being lonely, its been said that living with a partner cost your much than living alone, as there are two people taking care of home and they have more expenses. But when a personal is living alone, he has controlled expanses as there are hardly an extra expense.

But let me tell you its all wrong, if you are living alone, the cost of living will be much more than that of living with a partner,

As you will be eating out most of the time whereas if you live with your partner, it is limited to weekends only, and the more time you spend together. And all the work is divided into two people, so there is less effort to do things at home.

Whereas if you are living alone you have all the work do on your on, be it cleaning, cooking, shopping any many other things, or the worse case, you hire someone to do all these things, so the cost of living goes too high for people living alone than people living with partners.

But there are few other advantages to the loner people too. As they don’t have to share things with some, and I tell you what, I really being a loner. I have always been a loner.

So the other things can be worked out to attain my freedom, my privacy.

Home making can be done easy with loads of products from the market. Get carpet cleaning machines& Equipment and you never will need a helper for it to do these things as henry vacuum cleaners are good vacuums, the technology has enabled us to get cleaning supplies on demand.

Microwaves ovens can be used to prepare food instantly and you can still enjoy being a loner. And at the end of the day, you decide which side of bed you want to sleep on.

1^st I thought a girl like guys with loaded wallets so that he could fulfill her ice cream chocolate needs.

But when I watched this, I was wrong.

The other thought came in my mind that maybe they like chocolate guys, who are as sweet as like themselves. But it too failed to be the truth.

Then I thought it might be a guy with sculpted physique, but it too proved me wrong when I looked at this.

So many things came and gone, but the question still remains the same.

So I just made a statement that the most confused creature in the world is so moody that they can like anyone if they think a bull dog is as cute as Brad Pit

Hey doggy, can we change our places just for a sec?.

I am still doing my research for last 5 year that what they notice in Men. But, whatever the fact might be.

its really impossible to say what they like in us (Men).

If that ugly monkey can enjoy the valley of love. anyone can try to get his place.

or else, I’ll just request that money to change place for a while.

About AasifAhmed.com

This is My Personal Blog!

Personal in the sense that i write about those things which i like or dislike.

I give my own opinion here, and i have the freedom to do that. I don’t want any critic, as I am very well aware of things which happen in Blogitics!