Seems like Indians don’t know how to get pregnant, But how come India got 1 Billion people?

today i got an email from my cousin, it’s of the those forwarded emails which used to be popular back in 2002- 2003. Seems like it took about 7 years for it to reach my inbox.

Read it an laugh…..

Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier, Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing colleges, always speaks in English That college students have collected & published a book by name "Jappier’s Spoken English"
…. Njoy ………..with his…………..English…………..
Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great "Jappier’s Spoken English"
# At the ground:
—————–
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her…{Means: girl with specs please come here).
# To a boy, angrily:
———————
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
# While punishing students:
———————–
You, rotate the ground four times…
You, go and understand the tree…
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late – say YES or NO …..(?)

# Sir at his best:
—————
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school… (to that boy) – "Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"

# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
———————————————-
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves – I will take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today…
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
Take 5 cm wire of any length….
Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences …
Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).
At Sathyabama college day 2002:
"This college strict u the worry no …. U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy"
At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:
"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "
VERY IMPORTANT : ok enjoy this English, but dont forget your English !!!

but, it seems even she isn’t ready ready to guide me.

PS: People with Zero Sense of Humor, this is a Joke and I am not that Desperate.

If you are not living under the rock or something, you must be hearing a lot of news about Tiger Woods Infidelity, He has been cheating his wife Elin,ever since they got married in 2004. 14 women have been linked with him. I wonder this Would be Elin asking for an Explanation.

Have a Nice Sunday!!! I am Off to Sleep again.

She said that is her phone. holy smoke!!!, I laughed and said, there is no time for joke you would miss your train This time she was little rude to me and said it was her phone and there was a signal problem in the train that is why she came out of the train to make a call After 2 minutes, crowd gathered asking what was going on, I said the lady got my phone, but who would believe a guy, who did not take bath since last Sunday and is on the railway station with his sleepers, Everyone believed that girl, all because she was girl, a beautiful girl.
But why should I let it go that easy, after all, that was my 1st mobile phone, Sony Ericson T100, I started looking for the railway police, but the train started moving, finally I got a railway policeman, I told his the whole story in brief, but he said he was busy eating something, and he would help me if I help him monetarily, see what I said, this is India 
That day was December 16, 2004 And today is December 16, 2009 Exactly five years past, but the same Beautiful Problem in my way
I will tell you some other day I am feeling very lazy right now, may be some other time, this is India.

Ok, have you come across some like this? seriously, even I never came across. The Image I got from a blog ( A Malaysian blog), So, as my blog is India ( well, at least I can say that I am an Indian) I thought to share this picture here.

Every Saw a Homeless, hungry person who accepts PayPal payment? Strange.

And I thought I am one of very few who gets Paid (yes paid for work) and It’s kool.

Thank You for Coming, Come Again. Please Come.

English has become nastier. I was told by my English Teacher not to use this “Come” word again and again.

May be your simple English will turn somebody on.

Now don’t ask me What Turn On Means!

So, People say bing is doing  great, its going to burn Google in few days.

Can I ask Why?

Someone said, they invested billion dollars in it.

Screw that. ( I said)

You want to know why?

Look at the big picture then.

Searching for “email’”  keyword gives Yahoo a number one position. Are they trying to be Honest?

Don’t know, because the best is Google’s Gmail in every way. Also Bing’s father Microsoft has Hotmail with them.

Why the hell they are not using it.

May be just a co incident!

But wait………………………. look at the other big picture.

OS, (Operating System). Bing Understands that, but why does it put Apple there?

Google Doesn’t have any OS yet, but daddy Microsoft has it.

What the F.

Bing is a Confused kid i think.

What say?

.

The Theme of this song is that a Maid is singing this song for her celebrity Maalik.

She is asking him to love her in everyway. This song is quite popular already. (Click here to Watch the Video)

It seems like, Shiney Ahuja got carried away with this song so much, that he literally made love to his maid, even though the maid was not wanting it.

Poor Shiney, We understand your frustration feelings. But you should not take these songs so seriously.

This might be happening to him for the first time in real, but its a normal routine kind of thing for him in reel like, I mean, he is not good at it. Remember his Movie, ‘Hazaron Khwahishe Aisi’, He couldn’t get Geeta and ended up becoming a Mentally Retarded.   

Even his 2nd film, ‘Gangster’, Kangna Ranaut, Being his girlfriend, she was pregnant to Emran hashmi’s Child. Poor Shiney ended by Hanging till death.

His third Movie with Kangna Ranaut again, She was a psycho throughout the movie and killed herself in the end. leaving poor Shiney alone.

In his fourth Movie Again, ‘Bhool Bhulaiya‘ he had an Abnormal Wife.

In Metro again, he couldn’t get to make out with KK’s wife Shipla Shetty

So, whenever tragedy happens to Shiney, the movie becomes a Hit.

Many say he should be punished and many are in favour of him.  His in Police Custody till 15th July, lets see what happens.